


Porthos and the Awkward Conversations

by AmberBrown



Series: Earning Their Keep [5]
Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Humor, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, humour (because I am British and that is how it is spelt!)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 13:14:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12888642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmberBrown/pseuds/AmberBrown
Summary: " ‘What is the problem?’Porthos took a deep breath, but did not say anything. He instead looked away. Aramis could tell there was more than apprehension. His friend was embarrassed about something.‘Porthos, I am your friend. You can ask me anything. I will not tell anyone else. And if I can help you, I will.’Aramis was desperately trying not to talk to Porthos as if he were a child, but the mans continued reluctance to speak was becoming a little exasperating."





	1. ‘A Conversation with Aramis’

**Author's Note:**

> I originally had this as a stand alone piece but it belongs in the same AU I have created for this series so have moved it here. This is light compared to the rest of the series which is darker (hence my initial reluctance to put it here).
> 
> This can be read on its own, the only background you need to know, if you have not read any of rest of the series, is: 
> 
> Aramis and d'Artagnan are sleeping together and have been for a while, but both men still have lady friends that they see.

Aramis opened the door to find a slightly nervous looking Porthos.

‘What’s the matter with you?’

Porthos did not reply straight away, he appeared to be trying to order his thoughts, work out what he was going to say.

Aramis stood aside and ushered the big musketeer into his rooms. Porthos walked through the door. He was behaving, thought Aramis, as if he had never been in the room before. Normally he would have just strolled in, possibly without even knocking and made himself at home. He had even been known to hunt for a bottle of wine and help himself to a glass. But today he stood awkwardly in the middle of the room clutching his hat.

‘I’ve got something to ask you…’

Aramis pointed at a chair by the small hearth. Porthos sat, on the edge of the chair, almost reluctantly. Aramis sat opposite him, very intrigued. He could not imagine what had caused his usually relaxed friend to appear so nervous and apprehensive. 

‘I’m listening.’

‘D’Artagnan was saying…he said that…you see… there is this…err…this…’

‘Porthos, why don’t you start from the beginning. You have a problem?’

Porthos nodded.

‘D’Artagnan thinks I can help you with the problem?’

Another nod.

‘What is the problem?’

Porthos took a deep breath, but did not say anything. He instead looked away. Aramis could tell there was more than apprehension. His friend was embarrassed about something. 

‘Porthos, I am your friend. You can ask me anything. I will not tell anyone else. And if I can help you, I will.’

Aramis was desperately trying not to talk to Porthos as if he were a child, but the mans continued reluctance to speak was becoming a little exasperating.

‘I want you to teach me to kiss better. D’Artagnan says you are the best at kissing. He says he has never kissed anyone who could kissaswellasyou.’

Porthos’ short speech had grown quicker as he progressed. 

Aramis looked at Porthos for a few seconds, he was not quite sure what to say. D’Artagnan had told him when they had first started sleeping together that his kisses were amazing. But Aramis had not expected the younger man to tell his best friend the same thing. They did not talk about their personal lives with each other, so Aramis was a little surprised to find Porthos mentioning something he believed to be private.

‘Don’t be annoyed at d’Artagnan, I was a bit drunk and sad last night. The woman I’ve been trying to get friendly with, she’s clearly not impressed with me when I kiss her. I don’t think I’ve had a problem before but now I don’t know…’

‘So d’Artagnan suggested you talk to me?’

‘No, ‘e didn’t suggest it, he just said you’re really good. He tried to describe it…but…I couldn’t really understand.’

‘OK.’

‘Will you help me? Tell me what you do.’

Aramis leaned back in his chair. He was still unsure what was happening. Porthos was asking him for advice on kissing women. None of his mistresses had ever complained about his actions before so he guessed he was doing something right. He wondered what Porthos might be doing wrong. A thought occurred to him.

‘Porthos…this might seem an odd request, but if I am to help you…which I gladly will…I need to know what you do when you kiss a woman,’ he paused, knowing that what he was going to say next might see Porthos bolt from the room, the man already looked like a shocked rabbit. ‘Porthos, you are going to have to kiss me.’

Porthos did not react. Aramis wondered if the man had gone into shock. Very slowly Porthos, who had been looking down, raised his head and looked Aramis in the eyes.

‘No one else ever knows.’

‘Nobody. Not even d’Artagnan. Unlike him, I can keep private things private.’

Porthos looked away again, he nodded to himself, Aramis could almost see the thoughts going around in his mind. 

‘OK.’

Aramis thought for a moment, before rising from his chair. He stepped forward and took Porthos’ hat from him before taking him by the hand and pulling him up to stand.

‘Take off you weapons belt. This is going to be easier if we sit on the bed, don’t worry I’m not going to seduce you.’

Porthos nodded slowly and began undoing his belt, he handed it to Aramis who lay it on the table with his hat. Aramis led them through to his bedroom.

‘Sit on the bed,’ directed Aramis.

Porthos did as he was told, swinging his legs up. Aramis sat on the edge of the bed and leaned across him a little.

‘I know it’s going to be difficult, but pretend I am your lady friend. How do you go about kissing her?’

After a moment’s hesitation, Porthos lifted his hand up and cupped the back of Aramis’ head, whilst laying the other hand on his waist. He leaned in and pressed his lips to Aramis’ firmly. He opened his mouth slightly and teased at Aramis’ with his tongue. Aramis opened his mouth slightly. The kiss was not bad, thought Aramis, but when he tried to lean into the kiss to take the lead Porthos stopped and released him.

‘That is your problem.’

‘What?’

‘You’re not letting the lady take the lead.’

‘What?’

‘When you undertake a romantic liaison, you do not always have to be the dominate party. I know you are big beefy soldier,’ chuckled Aramis good naturedly, ‘but in the bedroom, sometimes it is better to have your partner take a turn at being the leader…trust me Porthos, some ladies are very good at taking the lead.’

Porthos looked a little taken aback. He sat for a few moments contemplating what Aramis had said. 

‘Let her take the lead,’ he said to himself.

‘May I? Perhaps if you have experienced being kissed rather than being the one kissing, you will understand how to relinquish control.’

Porthos nodded, although it was clear he was uncertain.

‘No one needs to know,’ reassured Aramis.

Porthos nodded.

Aramis cupped his hand around Porthos’ neck and lay his other hand on the big mans bicep. He brought their lips together and kissed him deeply. He did not kiss Porthos in as firm a manner as he would kiss d’Artagnan when they were in the throes of passion, but he demonstrated what a kiss could be to his friend.

Porthos let out a moan.

Without warning and with a force he would not have expected, Aramis found himself being thrown off the bed and onto the floor. His head smacking into the floor was the last thing he remembered.


	2. ‘A Conversation with d’Artagnan’

D’Artagnan opened the door to find a slightly nervous looking Porthos.

‘What’s the matter with you?’

Porthos did not reply straight away, he appeared to be trying to order his thoughts, work out what he was going to say.

D’Artagnan wondered why Porthos was in Aramis’ rooms and why was he standing in Aramis’ bedroom? D’Artagnan looked down and saw the form of his lover sprawled across the floor of his bedroom. The man was clearly unconscious and Porthos was standing over him looking very guilty.

‘What did you do?’ said d’Artagnan rushing forward and pushing Porthos out of the way as he knelt by his lover and looked him over, trying to assess where he was hurt. 

‘I…um…we…’

‘Did you have an argument? Did you hit him?’

‘No…I…we…he suggested…err.’

Satisfied that Aramis only had a bump on his head, d’Artagnan looked back up at Porthos who had not moved. D’Artagnan decided that whatever had happened, Porthos was not a threat to his lover, the man looked like a frightened rabbit.

‘Help me get him onto the bed.’

The request was more of a command which Porthos obeyed without argument. They gently lifted the unconscious man and laid him on the bed. D’Artagnan carefully arranged the pillows to make his lover as comfortable as possible. Aramis was breathing easily. D’Artagnan was sure his lover would awaken with nothing more than a headache. He turned back to Porthos. 

‘Sit down and tell me what happened.’

Again, Porthos did as he was told. He sat on the chair and looked at the floor for a few second. 

‘When we were talking last night…you said that he was good at kissing.’

D’Artagnan furrowed his brow and nodded, ‘go on,’ he could not work out how telling Porthos that his lover was good at kissing had led to the man lying unconscious on the bed beside him. 

‘Well, like I said last night, I don’t think Marie, the woman I’m seein’ is very impressed with my kisses…I came here to ask Aramis if he could help me.’

D’Artagnan found several things occurring to him.

‘Did he offer you a practical demonstration?’

Porthos nodded, he had gone back to looking at the floor. 

‘Then what happened?’

‘I pushed him away. I didn’t mean to push so hard. I didn’t mean to hurt him…you know I would never hurt him.’

‘Yes, I know. You two have a relationship that I doubt even I could come between,’ said d’Artagnan, not unkindly, ‘why did you push him?’

‘I…he was…he was kissing me…said he wanted to show me what it was like to be kissed…he said that’s what my problem was, I wasn’t letting the lady take the lead…’ Porthos paused for a moment, the embarrassment of the situation written on his down turned face, ‘when he was kissing me I…started to…like it…’

D’Artagnan realised, ‘be honest, were you aroused?’

‘Yes,’ replied Porthos very quietly.

D’Artagnan was glad Porthos was unable to make eye contact with him, as he was struggling to hide a smirk. Aramis was good at seduction, apparently even when he was not intending to seduce. D’Artagnan decided his lover was going to have to pay for causing their friend such embarrassment. But for now, d’Artagnan had to placate the man sat in front of him.

‘Porthos. You reacted to something you weren’t expecting. It was an accident. Don’t worry about it.’

‘But I hurt him.’

‘Yes, but he’ll be fine. You see.’

‘Should I go. He might not want to see me,’ said Porthos as he made to stand.

‘Oh no, you are staying right there. If he wakes up and you are not here, he’ll worry and want to go and find you. And if he is concussed that won’t do him any good. No, Porthos, you are staying here.’

Porthos nodded. They sat in silence for a few minutes. 

‘Was the lesson any good?’ asked d’Artagnan.

Porthos managed a small smile, ‘I think so…he is good, isn’t he?’

‘Yes.’

‘Then why did you throw me off the bed?’

They both looked around as Aramis tried to sit up. D’Artagnan helped his lover into a sitting position.

‘I’m fine, bit of a headache, doubt I’m even concussed.’

Porthos had approached the bed and was eyeing his friend, d’Artagnan stood up and gave them a little room. 

‘I’m so sorry Aramis, I really didn’t mean to hurt you, it’s just when you were…it made me…’

D’Artagnan who was behind Porthos was struggling not to laugh out loud at Porthos’ stumbling apology.

‘It’s OK Porthos. I just hope the lady appreciates my sacrifice…and for the record,’ said Aramis glancing over at d’Artagnan and then back at Porthos, ‘d’Artagnan’s really good as well, perhaps you should have a lesson with him next time.’

Porthos looked stunned. D’Artagnan was in pain from suppressing the laughter Aramis’ comment had caused. 

‘Go and see your lady friend, let her do some of the work. Go and enjoy yourself.’

Porthos took a breath, he nodded and left the room. D’Artagnan watched him go, before turning back to Aramis who was smiling at him.

‘What on earth did you think had happened when you came in?’

‘I thought you’d had a fight and he’d hit you.’

Aramis huffed, ‘I could take Porthos on, any day.’

‘I’d like to see that.’

‘Maybe not today though,’ said Aramis rubbing his head. 

D’Artagnan crossed the room and climbed onto the bed beside his lover, he leaned in for a kiss, pleased to find Aramis return it. 

‘You really are the best at that.’

‘I know.’

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> I am working on another story for this AU. It will be back to the darker storyline and comes from a prompt from Lady_Neve. Watch this space...


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